Change is a Process and Charting Your Journey

When we find ourselves going through a period of major life change, it can be easy to forget that change takes time. Often, much longer than we think, want, or expect.

 

While we may understand the notion that change is a process, it’s easy to be hard on ourselves or have unrealistic expectations that we should be able to handle something quickly and easily, without any anxiety, stress, or self-doubt.

 

We underestimate how changes in our lives, both big and small, can affect our confidence, sense of security, and even enthusiasm.

 

Picture training for a marathon. We don’t go from walking one day to running a marathon the next. Everything has a process; it takes time, focus, and dedication.

 

We can’t build the capacity to run a marathon without practice and process.

 

The same goes for life changes.

 

When we make the commitment to start integrating mindfulness into our habits, we start with excitement and motivation.  We think “I can do this!”

 

We may have a vision in our head of what life will be like when we finally quit smoking, lose those extra pounds, have a daily meditation practice, or other healthy habits.

 

Then something happens.

 

Life happens. Maybe we get overwhelmed, things get hectic, or we don’t follow through on what we told ourselves we would do.

 

Maybe we compare ourselves to others, or the vision in our head, and feel like we can’t keep up. So then we say to ourselves, “This is harder than I thought” or maybe “I don’t think this is for me.”

 

It’s easy to forget that change is a process that requires us to keep working on things, a little bit each day or week, and there will be times when you stall or fall back.

 

I once heard that change can feel more like a cha-cha with two steps forward, three steps backwards, then two forward in progress and so-on!  Maybe that’s why there’s a CHA in change?

 

Our path and progress related to change isn’t always linear or consistent. Check this out:

 

 

As you look at the graph above of positive habit changes, consider your own process of making healthy life changes.

 

Expect there to be times where you will have challenges or stray from your most heart-felt intentions.

 

Those tough moments or moments of straying are not obstacles or reasons to abandon ship.

 

When you pause for a moment and lift the veil, you’ll see that these are opportunities. These are moments of waking up, to step into that space between stimulus and response and recognize, “Aha, I have a choice.” Flex that muscle of choice, soften your body, exhale and begin again.

 

As Kabir said, “Wherever you are, that’s the entry point.”

 

Maybe in that moment lies an opportunity to apply self-compassion, so you say, “this is a tough moment, in life there’s tough moments, how can I be kind to myself or what do I need right now?” As you do this, your view of what’s possible broadens. You get unstuck from your frozen, rigid perceptions and are able to see more choices and possibilities.  I’ll be talking more about kindness for ourselves around change soon!

 

This change journey is part of our common humanity.

 

I promise you – every person making changes in their life has experienced obstacles and strayed away their original intentions.  I know I have.

 

See what happens if you invite yourself to see change is a process.

 

Please share your thoughts, stories, and questions with us below. Your interaction creates a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.