SHOWNOTES

How many times have you been told – explicitly or implicitly – to stay silent about your pain? Whether it’s miscarriage, illness, anxiety, or grief, so many of us have been taught to carry these experiences quietly, hidden beneath layers of shame, strength, and forced smiles. But silence breeds stigma—and stigma breeds disconnection.

In this episode of The Emotional Longevity Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Jessica Zucker – psychologist, critically acclaimed writer, and author of Normalize It – whose work is reshaping the way we talk about loss, grief, and the full, unfiltered spectrum of what it means to be human.

Together, we explore what it really means to replace silence with storytelling – and why doing so might be one of the most healing acts we can take.

Breaking the Cycle of Silence, Stigma and Shame

Dr. Zucker opens up about her personal journey through miscarriage, breast cancer, and perimenopause – not as clinical case studies, but as deeply human, lived experiences. And what she discovered through these moments was profound: so many others had also suffered in silence, carrying years (sometimes decades) of unspoken pain.

“Even this exchange alone helps me feel better,” people would write to her after reading her words or sharing their story. “I just couldn’t believe that this many people had been living in unacknowledged anguish,” she reflects.

Through her I Had a Miscarriage campaign and now her book Normalize It, Dr. Zucker is helping people begin the gentle, powerful work of saying: Me too. This matters. I matter.

The Power of One Safe Person

We often think we need a grand platform to make our pain valid. But Dr. Zucker reminds us that healing can start with just one person – one safe space.

For her, that space began with her father: “He normalized the stories, the experiences, without making me feel like I had to be quiet. That was everything.” It also lived in her therapy room – both as a therapist and a client.

“When we hold our stories inside, we suppress them. And suppressed pain becomes unhealthy stress, but when we speak, when we name it, we reclaim power—and our nervous system actually calms.” – Dr. Jessica Zucker

How to Start When You’re Not Ready to Share

Maybe you’re not ready to talk. Maybe you’re not even sure what you’d say. That’s okay.

Dr. Zucker suggests one simple but powerful step: write it down. “That might be the most self-loving beginning,” she says. “Write in your journal. Speak into your voice notes. You don’t have to be public to be powerful.”

Even hearing your own story – witnessing it instead of hiding from it – can begin the process of healing.

Redefining What Support Looks Like

Sometimes, we take the risk of sharing… and we’re met with discomfort or minimizing comments from others. It’s painful – but it doesn’t mean you were wrong to speak. “That’s when we turn to our deepest self, or a therapist, or a wise friend,” Dr. Zucker says. “We remind ourselves: it was incredibly brave to share, no matter the response.”

We also reflect on how culture often rushes to positivity when pain is expressed: “At least you still have a child,” or “You’re so strong – you’ll fight this.” But what people really need in those moments isn’t a pep talk- it’s presence.

“We miss out on so much emotional intimacy when we rush to the rah-rah,” Dr. Zucker explains. “Sometimes we just need someone to say, ‘Are you scared?’”

What This Means for You

Whether you’re navigating grief, health challenges, or the emotional weight of unspoken experiences, here’s the truth: you are not alone—and you never were.

It’s okay to speak.
It’s okay to not speak – yet.
And it’s more than okay to start small.

As Dr. Zucker says, “Sharing your story doesn’t necessarily change the pain of the past – but it creates space to carry it differently.”

Final Thoughts: You Deserve to be Heard

This episode is a reminder that your experiences – no matter how messy, painful, or imperfect – are worthy of acknowledgment. They don’t have to be hidden, beautified, or filtered to deserve attention.

You deserve to be heard. And if someone can’t hold your truth, that doesn’t make your truth any less valid.

If this conversation spoke to something inside you, share it with someone else who might be holding a quiet burden of their own. They can listen to this episode of The Emotional Longevity Podcast or read this blog.

Want to Go Deeper? 

Uncover the Power Within  isn’t merely a coaching program – it’s a supportive space to strengthen emotional resilience and share your truth in community. Through guided tools, compassionate support, and deep connection, you’ll learn how to navigate life’s hardest moments with more intention, clarity, and care.

If you’re ready to feel more seen, supported, and emotionally strong – schedule a call to explore what is possible for you. 

Take care of yourself – you are allowed to feel it all, and you never have to go it alone.