Personal Growth
Founder and Psychologist
by Dr. Elisha Goldstein
“Emotional regulation is not about controlling or suppressing our feelings. It’s about using our emotions wisely to achieve our life goals.” – Dr. Marc Brackett
We discuss:
Emotional intelligence is more than a buzzword—it’s a powerful tool for navigating life’s ups and downs. In this enlightening episode of the Emotional Longevity Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Marc Brackett, Yale professor and author of Permission to Feel, to discuss the profound impact emotional regulation can have on our well-being. Dr. Brackett, a leader in the field of emotional intelligence, shares his expertise on how mastering our emotions not only improves our relationships but also enhances our longevity.
The Power of Emotional Regulation
Dr. Brackett begins by defining emotional regulation as the ability to use our emotions wisely. Rather than seeing emotions as something to suppress, he encourages us to view them as valuable resources that can guide us toward our goals.
“What I’ve learned is that it’s not about avoiding or suppressing emotions like anxiety. It’s about learning to use them wisely to achieve your goals.” – Dr. Marc Brackett
This perspective shift is essential for emotional longevity. Emotions like anxiety or anger aren’t inherently “bad” – they are signals that can offer insight into our environment and guide us in making decisions. Dr. Brackett’s approach emphasizes the importance of emotional awareness, allowing us to identify and understand our feelings rather than react to them impulsively.
The RULER Framework: A Roadmap for Emotional Mastery
Dr. Brackett’s RULER framework offers a comprehensive approach to emotional intelligence, consisting of five key skills:
- Recognizing emotions: Identifying and becoming aware of our own emotions and those of others.
- Understanding emotions: Understanding the causes of our feelings and their impact on our behavior.
- Labeling emotions: Using precise language to describe what we’re feeling.
- Expressing emotions: Knowing when and how to express our feelings appropriately.
- Regulating emotions: Using strategies to manage and use our emotions effectively.
These skills, Dr. Brackett explains, are not only crucial for our personal growth but also for fostering stronger relationships. By recognizing and labeling our emotions, we can communicate more effectively and build trust with those around us.
Vulnerability as a Tool for Emotional Growth
In the interview, Dr. Brackett shares a personal reflection on vulnerability. He explains that vulnerability is essential for emotional health and well-being—it’s about being authentic and open, even when it’s uncomfortable.
“Vulnerability is not a weakness. It’s the courage to express our authentic selves, even when it’s difficult.” – Dr. Marc Brackett
Although many people fear vulnerability due to the risk of rejection or judgment, Dr. Brackett encourages us to lean into it. Through vulnerability, we can deepen our connections with others and experience emotional growth. It’s through these honest exchanges that we build lasting trust and emotional resilience.
Building Emotional Health for Longevity
The connection between emotional health and longevity is clear. Dr. Brackett explains that by cultivating emotional intelligence, we not only enhance our emotional well-being but also improve our physical health. Positive emotions like love, joy, and connection have been shown to preserve telomeres—the protective caps on our chromosomes that are linked to aging and disease prevention.
Dr. Brackett’s work in emotional intelligence is about more than just managing emotions in the moment. It’s about building a foundation for long-term emotional resilience, which plays a direct role in enhancing both the quality and longevity of our lives.
Starting the Journey: Practical Tips for Emotional Health
So, where do you begin on the path to emotional regulation? Dr. Brackett offers practical advice: start with self-awareness. Take a moment each day to check in with your emotions. What are you feeling, and why? Understanding the triggers and underlying causes of your emotions is the first step toward mastering them.
Dr. Brackett also emphasizes the importance of changing our mindset about emotions. By embracing emotions as useful tools rather than obstacles, we can create healthier, more fulfilling relationships and navigate life’s challenges with greater ease.
Embrace the Journey of Emotional Mastery
As we wrap up this insightful conversation, Dr. Brackett reminds us that emotional intelligence is a lifelong journey. There will always be moments of struggle, but by practicing emotional regulation, we can make each experience an opportunity for growth.
The path to emotional health may not always be easy, but as Dr. Brackett shares, it’s a journey that pays off in profound ways. From better decision-making to stronger relationships, emotional intelligence equips us with the tools we need to live healthier, more fulfilling lives.
If you enjoyed this and found it useful, I’d love for you consider one other person that this could be supportive to and send it onto them. They can listen to this episode of Emotional Longevity podcast or read this blog.
If you are ready to take your emotional health to the next level, I invite you to explore my Emotional Health Coaching Program, Uncover the Power Within. The program offers practical tools, evidence-based strategies, and a caring community to support you on your journey to emotional resilience.
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