Setting Boundaries and Rediscovering the Joy of You

Most of us, when we really look inside, have a desire for life to be a particular way – to be happy. More specifically, we want to have a sense of energy and vitality, we want to feel a sense of connection and belonging, to be focused and effective at work, to be resilient in the face of anxiety and depression, or to truly contribute and make a difference in the world.

We all want this…and yet so few of us actually feel fulfilled in these areas of life.

Why?

We aren’t taught to value taking time out on a regular basis to understand what matters to us, what our needs are and how to set proper boundaries with ourselves and others to focus on what matters.

When we don’t take time to get really clear on the outcome we’re looking for with our work, mental health, relationships, or contribution to the world – we can’t turn our focus to it effectively and we’re susceptible to loose boundaries more often accommodating other people’s needs and goals – even if it’s at our own expense.

But there’s a very simple truism in life and that’s wherever you place your focus, that’s where your energy is going to go.  Continue Reading →

How to Curate Your Social Circle

Do the people in your life inspire you to live your best life?

You may have friendships or relationships that feel comfortable because they are familiar, but closeness doesn’t always equate with people are inspiring positive growth in you. The motivational speaker Jim John is famous for saying, “you are the average of the 5 people you spend most your time with.” It’s important to consider the impact of the people closest to you, as it turns out – they have a big impact on your well-being.

For many of us, there’s a real lack of positive and inspiring social cues around us, and a lack of connection and support to make healthy or positive changes.

In the distant past, people came together as a tribe, clan or community to survive, forage for food, and stay safe. In modern days we don’t need a tribe to ensure our basic survival, and so we live separate lives. Because we don’t rely on people in the same way, this creates a serious lack of positive social cues around us.

What are positive social cues? It is people that automatically inspire the energy and motivation in you to engage the positive behaviors or practices that equate to your best life. Also, when we share good experiences and positive emotions, we get an extra well-being boost – and we could always use that.

The bottom line is there’s a real science behind social, emotional and behavioral contagion and when it comes to living our best lives – our social environments really matter. So I want to show you an exercise to take stock, and then explore how to curate your social circle to give you an advantage in living the life you want to live.

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When we find ourselves going through a period of major life change, it can be easy to forget that change takes time. Often, much longer than we think, want, or expect.

While we may understand the notion that change is a process, it’s easy to be hard on ourselves or have unrealistic expectations that we should be able to handle something quickly and easily, without any anxiety, stress, or self-doubt.

We underestimate how changes in our lives, both big and small, can affect our confidence, sense of security, and even enthusiasm.

Picture training for a marathon. We don’t go from walking one day to running a marathon the next. Everything has a process; it takes time, focus, and dedication.

We can’t build the capacity to run a marathon without practice and process.

The same goes for life changes.

When we make the commitment to start integrating mindfulness into our habits, we start with excitement and motivation.  We think “I can do this!”

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Give Yourself a Gratitude Boost!

In Uncovering Happiness I talk about how people’s #1 bad habit can be surprising – our thinking. Before we fall into procrastination, stress eating, isolating, habitually engaging our Smartphones, or any other addictive behavior, there’s an underlying thought. The thought is usually something akin to I need to get away from something uncomfortable or occasionally I want to elate this good feeling.

One of the most powerful ways I have found to change the atmosphere of the mind is a very simple practice to give yourself a gratitude boost!

Now, before your eyes roll you need to know this, you might notice thoughts arising like, “not this gratitude stuff again, I’ve read this in a thousand places.” If you notice similar thoughts ask yourself, “what is the net effect of this thought?” Does consider it incline you towards this practice or away from it?

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Try 4 Mindful Ways to Start Your Day! 

How we start the morning often sets the stage for how the rest of the day unfolds. Life has a habit of throwing us curve balls in many forms – a heated email, a fender bender, or a failed deal that you were really hoping would work out. Anything can happen in the present moment, and how we start our day can significantly influence how we respond to various situations.

These 4 mindful ways to start your day can help you deal with life’s inevitable ups and downs.

Do a Mindful Check-In

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