How to Fall in Love and Uncover Happiness in 4-Minutes or Less

Wednesday, February 25, 2015 · 3 Comments

One of the primary pathways to an enduring happiness is facilitating a sense of connection. When we feel connected we feel balanced, when we feel balanced, we often feel happy. The problem is

as we grow up in this world, we have to learn how to shield ourselves from vulnerability and so we build up walls or put on armor that make connection more difficult.

One of the most powerful (and challenging) practices to do is look into another person’s eyes for a prolonged period of time as it immediately makes us feel vulnerable. It may not matter whether it’s a stranger or someone you’ve been in a partnership with for over 50 years (sometimes this makes it more difficult). But when we do it, it’s fascinating what arises.

Check out this short video from Soul Pancake to see some of the surprising results of people making connection:

One of the defining characteristics of compassion is recognizing our common humanity.

Behind my eyes and your eyes are the same fundamental needs, to feel cared about and understood – to feel a sense of belonging.

When we look into another’s eyes and see this, it can melt the barrier and uncover the connection that’s always been there. This is an essential element for Uncovering Happiness. 

Try this out as an experiment for yourself:

Today, look into the people’s eyes that you meet and see the person behind the eyes. What happens when you bring the mindset that this person is “Just like me?” This mindset understands that underneath it all, this person wants the same things I do, to feel cared about, to feel understood, to feel accepted, a sense of belonging and to be happy.

Put your biases aside, test it out and see what you notice.

Allow your experience to be your guide.


Elisha Goldstein, PhD


PS – Thank you to Leah Pearlman at for her wonderful drawings.

Adapted from Mindfulness and Psychotherapy


  1. Maria
    March 9, 2016 at 10:42 am

    It is very difficult to meet soul mate, life has no meaning without love
    On the other hand, many married people are disappointed and divorce nowdays.
    dating to right person must be really difficult.
    I tried online dating on , and dating sites.
    I met many people from different countries. It seems to be working!

  2. March 3, 2015 at 9:19 am

    simply beautiful Elisha! thanks for sharing…tears well up as I sit with these folks as they sit with each other….Peter

  3. February 26, 2015 at 10:38 am

    lovely. I’ve done this exercise with large groups of people, strangers and couples, but have never seen it so beautifully portrayed. Sit down, shut up, and connect…that is Mindful Loving.

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